Don't you have that one diary or blog that you keep going back to just because it's either a) a train wreck or b) the person kind of irritates you but you like to talk shit about them in your head? Yeah, I have one person like that on my favorites list and if you guess who it is, I'll give you a big, wet, sloppy kiss!
I know I might come off as a man-hater sometimes, but really that is not the case at all. I hate ALL people. So in all fairness to the male pigs out there, here's a few jokes to level the male-bashing.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. (This one made me spit out my sprite.)
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
It's been 25 days since my last cigarette.
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