| All people mentioned here may or may not be actually related to me, but are still considered my family. Aliases have been used to protect the innocent. And no, this is not a cast list, because my life is nothing like a movie.
Charlie - My son. He's two years old. He was conceived out of wedlock, but turned out fairly normal. He's always been bigger, stronger, louder and smarter than kids his own age since the day they yanked him directly out of my uterus. I love this little guy, he's a true friend. He's also attached to my dad's ass.
Bert - My dad. Dad is the type of person that gets along with anyone, and I envy that sometimes. I look up to my dad. I also depend on him greatly to change my oil, my tires, fix stuff around my house and other various mechanical endeavors.
Ernie - My mom. Mom is very generous and giving with her time, labor, and love, and she's not afraid to throw it back in your face anytime she feels you don't appreciate it. Like most great mothers, I believe my mother has magical powers. She also never stinks, even when she sweats profusely, which baffles me to no end. She is the glue that holds our family tightly together.
Goody - My older brother, he's 26. He's an asshole. For some reason he's always found great pleasure in making fun of me. But I can't help but love him because he's just so good, morally speaking.
Whore - This is Goody's soon-to-be ex-wife, whom I've written about on a couple of occassions. She left my brother for another man and is now pregnant with the other guy's baby. People get divorced everyday, that's fine, but what makes her such a humungous whore is the fact that she has shown not one ounce of remorse for any of the fucked up shit she's done to my brother, and she's done a lot of fucked up shit and continues to.
Goody Jr. - Goody's oldest daughter, she's three. She so cute and sweet, it hurts.
Ernie Jr. - Goody's youngest daughter, she's two. She looks a lot like my mom, especially with her precious little baby glasses.
Boyt - This is my younger brother, he's 21. He's known in our family for his comical genius. He's also the tallest and towers over all us midgests.
Girlt - This is Boyt's wife, she's 21 also. I think she was born with the sole purpose of marrying my brother, just because they fit so well together. It's sick really.
Pretty Boy - My cousin/roomate, 21 years old. He is tall, good-looking, atheletic, smart, very dedicated to God, funny, basically perfect. Gag.
Curly - Pretty Boy's older girlfriend, she's my age (read: cradle robber). She is the female version of Pretty Boy. She also thinks it's funny when we fart, which is often, so that's a plus.
Last, but most certainly not least, there's me. I am a rare bread of woman that is both strong and soft, smart and ditzy, beautiful and hideous, and loving yet hateful. I've been described as loving, good, funny, beautiful, intelligent, insightful, perceptive, sexy, independent, strong, kind, professional, classy, sensitive, cynical, unthoughtful, lazy, stubborn, bossy, cold-hearted, psycho, rebellious and cruel. And I won't deny that I probably have been one or all of those things at one point or another in my life. I love and hate life passionately at the same time.
I have like a billion other relatives and friends and I'm tired from what little list I'm written so far, so I may or may not come back and add to this later.
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