What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What's the difference between a porcupine and Mercedes?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

And I must apologize to all the married chicks, because apparently, R and R think they can hold their own with us single gals! Hey, you guys are MORE than welcome to come.

I also have nominated the following people join us: J, S, B, S, J, H, L, and J.

So I will need your response, like ASAP, so I can start looking into room rates and such. Also, PLEASE forgive me if I left you off the list, it only means that either A) I don't know you all that well or B) you are married or in a relationship - BUT you are still welcome to come. Sorry, fellas, but I'm not giving in on you guys, this is still going to be a girls-only retreat.

Also, I was talking to my sweetie pie Bob, who can't come because she's in debt up to her butthole and she sucks balls (but don't worry, I'll keep pressuring her), and she was giving me a few suggestions for the trip, because she's a Vegas Whore. She reccomended a few hotels. She also told me that we should all consider shacking up like four to a room in order to get a NICE hotel without having to pay out our vaginas. But, I am wide open to any and all suggestions, so EMAIL ME, damn it!

One last thing, I need dates that you gals are available. I don't know why, but I'm thinking mid-January. Let me know.

Update: Cheri mentioned that March would be better because then she'd have her tax return money. I'm thinking that might be a good idea, but I just don't know if I can wait that long. Let me know what you think.

when I'm cold, I shrink, and,

when I'm hot, I swell.

Also, do you ever add different words to familiar songs just because? You know you do. Well, today the familiar song with added word in my head today goes like this,

"Ya might as well face it, you're addicted to BLOGS!"

Ok, so I actually think my kid is the best thing since oxygen, but you don't really want to hear me getting all mushy and gushy and shit, do you?

I've never been to Vegas and gambling doesn't really appeal to me, but everyone is always saying how there's SO much more to do in Vegas besides gamble. Plus, flights to Vegas from just about anywhere are dirt cheap. And if we told them we were having some convention or some shit, maybe we could get cheap room rates. And I'm thinking if we go in the winter or spring, it shouldn't be too hot there.

So, tell me, what do you chickies think?

By the way, this is for my Sexy Single Ladies only. No offense, men or married chicks, but sometimes the single girls just need some time to themselves. You understand.