| Don't you hate it when you get a surprise fart? You know, the kind that comes out of nowhere (well besides your ass of course). The kind that sneaks up on you and you don't have time to hold it. Usually they come out as snappers, but sometimes they can be boomers. Well, tonight I had the most hilarious surprise fart ever. Not because of the sound it made, though that's usually the funny part. But what was going on around me when it happened. As you may know, my son is two years old. This puts him right at about butt level to me. Yeah, you see where this is going, don't you? I was doing the dishes and my son kept coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my legs and his nose kept landing right in between my buttcheeks. Poor kid, he didn't even realize the danger he was in. I kept telling him to stop it anyway because his little face on my butt was tickling me. Hey, I've got a sensitive ass, what can I say. Then out of nowhere, right when his nose is in between my cheeks, a surprise snapper let loose. I moved my girth of an ass as fast as it could possibly move and turned around, using my hands to waft the air in front of my son's nose. All the while I'm busting up and can barely get a word out. In between laughs it went something like, "Baby! You ok? Can you breathe?" Of course, seeing me die laughing only made my son laugh too. And he's all, "Mommy pootered! Mommy pootered!" The good news is, my son is alive and there's doesn't seem to be any permanent damage.
It's been 47 days since my last cigarette.
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