| Do a little dance! Make a little love! Get down tonight! Get down tonight!
Ber Chika Ber Berrrrr! Wocka Chika Wocka Chika!
That was my rendition of some nice little porno movie music. I swear those pornos have the best soundtracks. Whenever I watch one, I'm like, "Damn where can I get the soundtrack?!" But those stingy bastards make you buy the whole movie just to get the music.
Speaking of porno, have you seen Seymore Butts' reality TV show? Is he not like the sweetest most humble porno movie producer and actor you've ever seen? I've only seen the show once and I couldn't believe what a nice guy he is. And his son is the most adorable little thing. Anyway, he's totally not the slimeball porno guy type. I mean I'd actually date the guy. Sex, that's another issue, maybe I would, but he'd have to wear like ten condoms.
Anyway, I'm getting way off the subject here. I'm all excited because I just found out that I'll definitely be going to San Francisco later this summer for some job training. Don't hate me because I'm a sexy sex goddess who gets paid to vacation at luxurious locations. Holy crap, I think I just shit myself!
Why is that exciting for me, you ask? Well, first of all, I've never been west of Colorado. I've only been to a few major cities in the US and I've never been outside the States, so getting to travel anywhere is exciting for me. I've never seen the ocean! How crazy is that? And I never dreamed I'd ever get to go to California. But the main reason is, I just never get to go anywhere, seeing how I'm a broke single mom. So whenever my job sends me places like New York, Chicago and San Francisco, it's like a little vacation for me.
There's only two major down sides. I'm going to miss my son like crazy, it's bad enough just being away from him for a night, let alone an entire week. This will be the longest I've been away from him since he's been alive. I'm going to cry, I just know it. Also, I pretty much hate to fly. I get anxiety attacks, although I've learned to keep them internal and not flip out on the airplane, screaming profanities and things like, "We're all going to DIE!" Yeah, just give me a couple brews before the flight and I'll be just fine.
By the way, if any of your Dland bitches live in San Fran, PLEASE let me know. Then we can hook up and kick it, San Fran style! Yeah baby!
So that's my exciting news for the year. Oh yeah, that, and I'm getting my carpets professionally cleaned today! Yes!
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