I can do nice. See? 05.09.2003

I always want the opposite of what I'm getting. For instance, if all my friends are calling me the same weekend wanting to do something, then I'm all, "Leave me be, you whores!" But then, when I'm home alone with nothing to do but pick my boogers and scratch my ass, I'm all, "Why doesn't anyone love me? Why God?" So I'm the girl in the office that just sits in her corner, does her thing, is quiet about it for the most part, doesn't bother anyone, so on and so forth. Sometimes I feel neglected and left out. Like when half the office gets together every Thursday for lunch, but I'm never invited. I was starting to wonder if I had a sign on my forehead that said, "Don't fucking look at me, let alone talk to me unless you want your right arm chewed off!" or if it was just a look I gave. Part of the reason I guess I'm stand-offish at work is that I don't necessarily want everyone I work with to know my personal business. 'Cause you know how office gossip is. Plus, I've always been one that despised popularity. Because then people start to rely on you and shit and I just don't have the time or energy to invest in a bunch of friends. Then again, there's a part of me that sometimes wants to have bunches of people love me. But I guess we all feel that way sometimes. Anyway, the other day, I decided, "Screw it!" and I sent an office-wide (there's only about 10 people in my office) email out asking if anyone wanted to go out for lunch. And I'll be damned if four whole humans didn't take me up on that offer! I was like, "Wow, you love me, you really love me!" As a result, one of the girls that went with me then asked me the following day if I wanted to go do a kid thing with our kids this weekend. And I actually said yes. I can feel the morphing of 'nice and friendly Angela' taking over me as I type this. Oh God, noooooooooo! So I guess everybody wants to feel included, but I forget sometimes how easy it is to reach out. By the way, Happy Mother's Day. P.S. It's very difficult for me to end an entry on a nice note, therefore I'd just like to add a prayer request from all of you to help ensure that spammers and telemarketers and pop-up ad makers die a horrible, long, agonizing death. I HATE THOSE BASTARDS! Also, holy hairy balls, check this out.

< Prev | Current | Archives | G-Book | Notes | Host | Next >