| I�ve come to the conclusion that I have the brain of a man. It�s either that or all other girls are just really good liars. Let me explain. I happened to catch Loser on TV this weekend while flipping through the channels. Sure, it�s a dumb teen movie with a predictable plot and shallow characters, but I guess I can see how some people find it cute. Love stories, no matter how lame, always seem to find fans. In Loser, the nerdy guy likes the goth girl who likes the college professor who is just using the girl, but the girl either a) doesn�t notice or b) doesn�t care. All the while the nerdy guy befriends the goth girl, they hang out, seem to get along really well, start to care for each other and even live together for a while. The nerdy boy loves the goth girl, but she never seems to notice that either. Then suddenly near the end of the movie, after the college professor has used up the goth girl and she�s sad, she has an epiphany that she loves the nerdy guy. It just hits her. Just like that. Please. How does this I-just-fell-in-love-all-of-a-sudden-after-days/weeks/months-of-friendship thing happen? Someone please enlighten me because I�m at a loss. Here�s where my man-brain comes into play. The very instant I meet a guy, any guy - fat, ugly, short, tall, married, single, gay, midget, single, brown or blue � I decide whether or not I�d sleep with him. Then after a few conversations I decide whether or not I�d date him. Then if we go on a date, whether just friends or potentially more, I decide whether or not we have long term potential. However, there are certain guys I would sleep with that I wouldn�t have a relationship with, but I�d never have a relationship with someone that I wouldn�t want to sleep with. That's not to say men and women can't be friends, I totally believe they can. I've had male friends, but I still always have the idea in the back of mind whether or not I'd like to get freaky with them. Ya know? So here�s my point. The goth girl was friends with the nerdy guy for days, maybe weeks (it was hard to tell time in this movie) and it was made to look like she never ONCE thought of the nerdy guy in a romantic sense. That is such bullshit. If I can�t see myself with someone romantically or sexually from the very first time we meet, it ain�t gonna happen. So this is where I�m stumped about whether I have a man-brain or other girls are just liars. I guess there could always be another option. That this type of thing actually happens. Where you are friends for so long and then you fall in love. But, you can�t tell me that when this does happen, neither person had ever previously thought of the other person in a romantic way. I just can�t bring myself to believe it. So I guess that�s why so many of these types of movies irritate me, because I�m thinking, ok it�s kind of romantic and all, but at least be realistic, at least give me something to work with here. At least be fucking honest. I get lied to enough by the media, advertisements, and the public in general. But come on, you�d think at least Hollywood could give us some straight answers. Bad joke. Either way, I�m convinced that I think like a man, because when I meet a guy for the first time, and even just seeing a stranger across the isle at Wally World, I am picturing him naked. I�m trying to sneak a peak at his package. I�m wondering how he kisses. And I�m wondering if he is any good in bed. If I�m not wondering that, then I�m fighting back the urge to vomit. I don�t know if that makes me a woman pig or a pervert or hopefully, normal. But it's just the way my brain operates.
It's been 33 days since my last cigarette.
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