| Who am I? Hey dog? What's up dog? How you doin' dog? Dog, I'm tellin' you, dog. Come on, dog. For real, dog. Dog, I don't know about all that, dog. Know what I'm sayin', dog? Dog, dog, dog, mutha fuckin DOG! Is nobody getting this joke? I'm actually imitating someone here. Someone famous. Hello?
I've encountered enough small penises in my day that I've decided I have a new goal regarding sexual encounters. The next time I'm about to have sex with a guy for the first time and I see his penis for the first time and if it's really small, I'm just going to bust out laughing. Then I will apologize profusely, as I gather my stuff and leave. Just pray that it's not some psycho who chops me up into a hundred pieces for laughing at his teeny weenie. You know how delicate those male egos can be.
Most of the time the diaryland banners don't bother me. Most of them are pretty lame, but not lame enough to warrant my attention. But every once in a while, I see one and I just want to click it and leave a message in that person's guestbook that they are the dumbest person to ever inhabit planet earth. For instance, what the fuck does that banner mean that says, "If you wanna be somebody... change your mind." What the fuck man? Seriously. I'd like to think I am creative and can be as abstract as the next guy, but utimately it helps for shit to actually make sense. Am I right or am I right?
Gratuitous link of the week:The Best Damn Web Page in the Universe This page in particular has sent a rainbow over my head today. My stomach is actually sore from laughing so fucking hard.
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