| I kill me.
You guys fucking rule. Did you know that? All of you! Every single person reading this right now. Well, except you. No, you, there in the back with g-string on. Haha, just kidding.
Speaking of g-strings, I have to link one of my fave dailies, because this entry is just too great.
Does it make me a total bitch if I deny stupid teenagers into my bitch ring just because they are stupid teenagers? Yes, maybe. I guess I'm a bitch then. Wait, that's the whole point. Now ask me if I care.
So just a few miscellaneous things today and then I'll be out of the loop for a few days. I have to go to Kansas City to train some monkeys. I'm going to make a little vacation out of it and party on Friday night. I'm hooking up with one of my friends that lives there. The only down side is that she is a lesbo, so we'll probably only be hitting the gay bars. And while I love my lesbo friends, I'm really needing some dick right now. But, I might just have to make do with what I get.
I'm going to miss my son like something fierce being away from him for almost 85 hours straight. But I'm thinking if I just stay liquored up the entire time, I won't know the difference. Then again, being drunk is usually frowned upon in Corporate America. Damn it. This will actually be my first time leading a training class, so I'm really nervous. And when I get nervous, I get gas. And when I get gas, well, it's just not pretty. Wish me luck guys, I think I need it.
Have you heard Step Daddy by the Hitman Sammy Sam. Oh my god, it is fucking hilarious.
On the other hand, Mesmerize is not hilarious at all. Ja Rule's voice is so irritating it makes me want to scratch my brains out with a dull knife. I fucking HATE you Ja Rule, you fucking thug-wanna-be-pussy-ass-litte-bitch. And don't get me started with Ashanti and her fat little knees. Not that there's anything wrong with being fat because Lord knows I am, but she's just a skank.
Oh and I know you've heard I'm Glad by J. Ho. And I'd just like to say for the 845792659878343rd time to Jennifer, "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You. Non-talented. Ear-piercing. Ghetto. Bitch." Thank you.
What ever happened to Paperboy and Orgy? One hit wonders have a way of breaking my heart. Damn them.
Most of the time, I hate -with the power of a thousand suns- radio commercials. I literally want to run my car right into the side of the radio station buildings and throw grenades when I hear them. But there is one on right now for Cox Cable that is so hilarious. I pray that I win the lottery some day, just so I can afford to fuck up my employment record by doing what this guy does:
Employee: I'm giving my letter of resignation.
Employer: You've worked here for 18 minutes.
Employee: I know, it took me longer than I thought.
Employer: Well what's the problem?
Employee: I can't find a TV in the office anywhere that is playing a movie.
Employer: Well we don't watch movies in the workplace.
Employee: Ah ha! So you admit it!
Employer: But, but...
Employee: Unbelievable! Good day sir!
Also, I love companies that only hire nice, friendly people. Do you ever notice with some companies ALL their employees are nice and friendly? For instance, Federal Express. Every Federal Express delivery person that I have ever encountered always has a smile on their face and is personable. God, it makes the world a little brighter. So kudos to companies that only hire nice people. Good thing my company isn't like that, or I'd be unemployed right now!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand..... scene.
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