Let me see if I can explain this well enough for some stranger who doesn't know me from Eve to understand. I am a single mom, I have one little boy. At the moment, I do not have a boyfriend or even a booty call, I'm completely manless, but this does not bother me. This is kind of beside the point, but plays into this entry. I have an older brother and a younger brother, they are both married, although my older brother's wife recently wanted a separation, so she really doesn't talk to anyone in our immediate family anymore. But those two couples used to do stuff (movies, dinner, etc.) all the time together, leaving me out. I guess when you're a "couple," that excludes you from inviting hideously single freaks, well only if you are so closed-minded that you can't see how you could possibly have anything in common with someone who might be a little different than youself. Well anyway, I have a younger cousin who lives with me and he is currently in a fairly new relationship with a girl. So it's this new couple and my younger brother and his wife who are all doing stuff together now. I keep telling myself that I'm just being my narcissistic self. But how many more times do I have to be at home with my son and then my own brother and his wife come over to visit - no not me! - but my cousin and his girlfriend. And how many more times do I have to be sitting in the very same room with all of them (you know because they are at MY house) and they make plans to go to dinner or a movie or what-the-fuck-ever else it is that they deem fit for "couples" to do and don't even glance in my direction. Again I keep telling myself that I'm just being narcissistic or feeling sorry for myself. But the more I think about it, the more I know I'm not. I am hurt. I am hurt because this is my brother who I love and adore, and I also happen to actually like his wife, that are inadvertantly making me feel completely unwelcome. I am hurt because they aren't even sensitive enough to at least ask me to tag along at the last minute, knowing that I couldn't go anyway because I wouldn't have a babysitter. I am hurt because I feel that my brother and his wife and I all get along great and do have great conversations when the rare occassion occurs. I am hurt because, yes I have invited them to go out with me, I have asked them to do stuff several times, I feel that I have made it clear that I enjoy both their company, yet they consistently go on about their lives without bothering to make quality time with me and my son. I'm trying desperately not to become bitter and closed-off to these two wonderful people whom I love, but it gets harder every time I witness them doing stuff with every couple in town and not giving me and my son a second thought. I guess I missed the memo that said that single moms don't like to do stuff anymore and having a kid super-glues you to your house. It's this kind of action of not associating with people who may be slightly different than yourself, that keeps our society segregated. It's fucking bullshit and I'll be damned if when/if I'm ever with a guy, I'll leave out my single friends. The cliche is so played out and I'm just sick of not feeling worthy simply because I'm not a "couple."
They were all just here and my cousin had to leave, so I guess my brother and his wife didn't feel like staying if only I was going to be here, so they left too. So fucking nice I tell ya.
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