I had nothing better to do today than to look at msn profiles and make fun of each and every one of them. I think I might have found one that was remotely funny and/or not completely ignoramus. So below, is me entertaining myself, and if you find this funny too, that's a plus. Oh and if any guys are reading this, you really need to keep reading and see what not to write in your profile when searching for that "special someone." I just have to ask for the millionth time? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
These quotes have not been edited by me in any way, shape or form. Enjoy.
I want to be friends first, if you would like to chat with me, the first line better be good!?! - I love a man who's opening line is a threat.
A Little About Me - yeah i now im a freak........in bed - You NOW you are are a freak in bed or you KNOW you are a freak in bed? Yeah you look like a freak, but not in a good way. And being a freak in bed is a matter of opinion, braggin about it does nothing for your chances.
I actually live by code of honor,like what I do for a living,and treat women with courtesy and respect. - Like, what DO you do for a living? If you think treating women with courtesy and respect is something to be commended, then you creep me out. It should be a GIVEN!
I am looking for new people to hang out with and have fun. 5'11" 185, criminally handsome. - What wrong with all the old people, are you too good for them? Do I need to even comment on the criminally handsome part? Yeah, why not. GAG ME WITH A TEN INCH DAGGER.
Recent college grad with a good job who enjoys life to the fullest - Just another cliche. These are always fun, interesting and original. Not.
i am naturally attracted to the mysterious; the predictable, the familiar, the traditional- all bore me. - You bore me. In other words, you like games and you play games.
I am easy going, easy to get along with. I like to go out at times to bars/clubs, lake, play pool, darts, hang out at friends, or spend time at home and watch movies. - Write something original, fucking would ya?
Why live for tomarrow when you still have to live for last week - What the hell? If you are trying to be mysterious and philosophical, it's not working. Try making sense first.
Black Athlethic Energetic Romantic Eternally Horny - You had me at "eternally horny." Actually you lost me there. That just SOUNDS fucking stupid. So you'll always be horny as long as you shall live?
looking for anyone to chat...just drop me a line...oh, and just got a webcam which can make for interesting games of truth or dare...you never know...lol - Wow, not picky (manwhore) and kinky (pervert) AND a good sense of humor (lame). What a winner!
Stick to the three main food groups (Beer, Sex, and Taco Bell), everything else is just details - Since when is sex a food group? You know how us girls be likin' you beer-guzzlin'-sex-pheen-greasy taco hell-eating fools!
I AM A NEGRO WITH A GOAL IN LIFE. I LOVE MEETING AND MAKING NEW FRIENDS COS ALL ABOUT LIFE IS HAVING FUN AND BEING FOCUSED AS WELL - Glad to see you are a negro with a goal, cuz we all know them negros don't be havin' no goals.
Ignore the girl in my lap. (ex) - If you are too lazy to take a picture of yourself, BY yourself, get the $5 film developed and scan a picture at kinkos on to a blank disk - but instead settle for a 2 year old picture with a woman ON YOUR LAP, then you are too lazy to be in a real relationship. Get a clue, dickfuck.
Looking to meet a special lady or some new friends....Ebony and Asian ladies will receive special attention here. - This guy is white. So I'm wondering what "ebony" or "asian" lady in her right mind would go, "Oh my god, I found the perfect guy, he'll give special treatment to me just because of my race! Yipee!"
Build houses Look handsome - I'll be the judge of that. You can't "look" handsome anyway, dickfuck, you either are or you aren't. I vote not.
A simple guy from a simple life... I am looking for White Females between the ages of 30-32.... Looks and body types don't matter.... for friendship, casual dating, romance, and possiably a LTR... - A simple guy from a simple life with a simple mind. I don't get the age range either. For someone so simple, you sure are picky.
Iam really layed back and loving with the right person. - So how are you then, with the wrong person? High strung and hateful?
I'm a layed back easy going guy who likes to go out and have a good time on weekends and still be able to look my date in the eye and know that I did not make and *&^ out of myself. - What's a *&^? Oh my bad, is that supposed to be a naughty word? Yikes, wouldn't want to say a naughty word now would we? And what is that supposed to mean anyway, you want to be able to go out and make an ASS out of yourself, but you don't want a girlfriend who will actually call you on it?
don't make my slap you like a two bit whore on nickel night - Don't make me shoot you between your beady little eyes like the male chauvanist disgusting pig that you are!
I am a fun-loving guy who loves to meet new people. I have a good sense of humor and love to make people laugh. - Again, I can't get over how many THOUSANDS of guys write this exact same thing. Originality must be really hard to come by these days.
Ask Me and If I think ya need to know I will tell ya.... [email protected] answers all E-mail.....from Ladies! - Who are you to judge whether or not someone NEEDS to know something? If a female is nice enough to ask you questions, that means she's interested, that means you should be flattered and not act like a total dickfuck! And could you BE a little more homophobic with that last comment?
Easygoing and fun loving after 5 but professional, devoted, passionate and hardworking during the day. - Uh oh, looks like we got one of them there double personalities dude! But wait, what if I want you to be devoted, passionate and HARDworking after 5 too???
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me. - Ha! Finally someone with an actual PERSONALITY. Ah but wait, then he writes, I might not be the best looking guy in this bar, but I am the only one talking to you right now. - Yeah. Right. That'll win the ladies over every time.
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